Saturday, September 7, 2013

A Day in the Life of a Wannabee SMC: The f@#%&* Two Week Wait Commences!

All right my lovely's out in cyber-land.  We are officially 3dpo/iui, or 3 days post ovulation and intra-uterine insemination.  The Riveting Mama is in the dreaded 2WW, or two week wait.  Strangely, I feel much calmer this time around.  I'll admit I did a lot of obsessive googling last time.  What does this twinge, this nausea, this being thirsty and having to pee all the time mean?  The reality is:  all those symptoms can mean a woman is pregnant . . . or they can just be the progesterone having fun at her expense.  I knew that going in, and yet it didn't stop me from wondering.  This time, I'm just trying to stay calm, practice good self-care as much as I can, and hope for the best.  So far, I have a little bloating in my abdomen, maybe a little twinge here and there, but that's about it.  I'm quite glad I saved a pair of my old jeans from when I was heavier (48 pounds lost as of a week and a half ago!).  Those jeans don't put any pressure on my abdomen, which seems to happen even though my pants in my new size fit comfortably the day of my IUI.      

Speaking of progesterone.  Every woman undergoing fertility treatments knows what I mean when I say EWWWWW!  Yes, we are prescribed high doses of natural progesterone, which is supposed to help support the pregnancy should it occur.  Progesterone is normally produced in sufficient amounts by the corpus luteum, which is what forms in an empty follicle's place once ovulation occurs.  Some women don't produce enough, and will miscarry as a result.  Although many women do produce enough, it is very common for doctors to prescribe it "just in case."  Extra progesterone won't hurt anything, and it will help everything, so to speak.  I know I mentioned this before, but Dr. W. did say mine was lower than he would expect it to be after 14 days on supplementation.  The only way to check is to have the level drawn after 7 days.  Unfortunately, it could already be too late to save the pregnancy if there isn't enough and my little one has already implanted.  This conception game certainly rolls you like you were dice, to reference an 80s hit.

Oh yes, and the progesterone is often more effective if absorbed, um, locally, so...well, to put it plainly, you stick it you-know-where twice a day (or more).  The progesterone is mixed in an oily medium, so you get to deal with greasy underwear.  Of course, I could wear a pad all the time, and I go back and forth with this.  I am a long-time Diva Cup user, and the couple of pads I do have are cloth.  It is better for the environment, and ultimately, better for me (i.e. no chemicals from tampons). Plus, I don't see my period as something dirty or unclean.  Washing the cup or the pads isn't gross to me.  So, why is the grease from the medication so disgusting to me?  I have no idea.  I could wear cloth pads, but really, that is the same as not wearing them, and I only have a couple (I don't leak when I use the cup).  Ah; first world problems, am I right?  And really, it isn't that bad I guess.  The alternative is a shot in the derriere every day, which would probably get old fast, seeing as though I will continue progesterone until week 12 WHEN I get my BFP (big fat positive).  The only way it could really be a problem is if I actually had a sex life, which, as you probably know, I don't anymore.  
So basically, I get to wait.  A lot.  I go in Tuesday morning to get my progesterone level checked.  If it's too low, I will have to have my dose increased, or "switch types," whatever that means.  And honestly, I will do whatever I have to to give this try a fighting chance.  As I said before, I will shoot myself up 5 times a day if need be, lumpy booty be dammed! 

Interestingly enough, if I am pregnant this time, my due date will be May 28th, 2014.  ANOTHER May baby in the family.  Actually all three nieces have birthdays in May within two weeks of each other.  Mine would be in that mix too.  That would be too funny!  Maybe September is our lucky month!  Also, just for fun, I played with a Chinese gender predictor.  Just like last month, I'm predicted to have a girl, which would also be ironic, given what I just told you all.  May would get to be expensive for us all, but we could sure plan some fun birthday parties with all of us putting our heads together and contributing! 

And finally, I'm not too proud to admit to starting an Amazon baby wishlist.  I haven't turned it into a registry, but I will do so when I know what gender the baby is.  Actually, I don't have a lot on it yet.  Mostly things I've always known I wanted.  Breast pump, accessories for pumping on the go, glass bottles that become sippy cups (I will EBF as long as I can, but I will also have to return to work eventually!).  I think I added some teether toys too.  I was thinking of adding cloth diapers and supplies, but there are sooo many choices out there.  I think I'll wait until SMC A gives me her review of what's working for her.  I know it seems silly to do this, but it keeps me in a positive mindset.  It's not IF I get my BFP, it's WHEN I get my BFP, ya know? 

In other news, I saw that K had another excellent beta!  I'm really happy for her; she has earned it for sure!  M is getting ready for her frozen transfer (I have my fingers crossed for you hon.  I know you're worried about your embie quality, but you're a fighter, and any frost baby of yours will put up a hell of a fight too).  H just had a perfect NT scan showing a healthy little guy or gal playing around, as they tend to do.  B is doing a great job practicing self care for her and her infant son.  A is getting ready to deliver her little girl next month.  These women's stories give me hope and courage.  They are strong, independent, and they are (or will be) amazing mothers who love their children very much.  As am I and as will I.           

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