I was so depressed last Thursday I could barely go to class. I did, but I really struggled with it. Here's why: I went to the midwife again last Wednesday to check in with her on how things were going. It turns out the scale at the RE's office was wrong and I have indeed only lost about 10 pounds. Still an accomplishment, but not where I should be. My goal was to lose the 25 pounds I would be gaining back during a pregnancy before I got pregnant. So, 15 to go.
Apparently, that's not good enough for A. Right when she came in, she expressed what she called "concerns," which were more like extreme dissapointments. She even acted a bit mortified that I am going ahead with TTC. She basically said that if I get pregnant, I will pretty much be guaranteed to have pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes, which will mean I have to deliver in a hospital where, under those circumstances, I will most certianly have a C-section. Then she started freaking out over my blood pressure, which was 150/90 at the time. I tried to explain that I have my B/P taken frequently, both at work and at all those Dr. apts I have been going to. It's always aroung 110/70. I had tripped going up the stairs to the exam room and I was incredibly stressed, which seems to happen every time I go to any doctor appointment these days. Also, she used a wrist cuff, and those usually run high anyways. I can tell she didn't believe me. (FWIW, I took it later in the appointment, and it was 138/88. Took it at work later on, and it was 128/88. Took it this morning, and it was 108/78.)
So what does she do? She recommends I go to Slimgenics so I can drop as much weight as I can before I have an IUI. I researched it. I spoke with them on the phone. It's a crash diet. Wait; you want me to go on a crash diet that incorporates supplements that include caffeine and speed right before I try to get pregnant?!? That goes against any research I have done up to this point.
You know, I go out of my way to eat right. I exercise frequently. I don't sit all day at my job. I don't have diabetes or high blood pressure. I am not morbidly obese. My research indicates that with my size taken into consideration, my pregnancy risks are still relatively low; they would increase IF I had any of those things listed above, which I don't.
Can I just meet one healthcare provider who believes in me and wants to do things on my terms? Yes, I am taking care of myself, and yes, I will be heavier when I get pregnant. Get over it. Grr....